15 miles and a “F*ck You!!!”

I’m going to state it again in this post, but I love the new bike lane! Damn, even though it’s so short, it’s plush. Love!

On to it!

What’s with the title? You may be asking yourself, read on my friends, read on.

Today is cooler than yesterday, but with more sun than you can shake a stick at. Really, I tried, it’s much more than one stick can handle. I am off work today, well not quite off, but on-call so to speak. My girlfriend sent me a text asking if I would want to meet at Qdoba (Yum x 10) in Grandview for lunch. “As long as I don’t get called in, you bet!” I replied.

I had to be at Qdoba at noon. The idea to ride my bike, like many decisions, came at the very last minute.  I  jumped up from my computer about 10 minutes till 11am, and ran around the house like a man possessed, getting ready and prepping to go. My bike, ready to go in the garage like the Batmobile waiting for Batman (just for the record, I am not Batman).  Having never ridden to Grandview before, I did have an idea how to get there, but I checked with my GPS (said it was about 7+ miles) just to be sure. We agreed. Out the door I went.

My route took me on the shiny new bike path, have I mentioned how much I love that bit of pavement. That joy is short lived though, on to SR62, and into traffic and construction I went. It wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. The construction is winding down and the crews have already laid the second to last paving, so it was super smooth. Nice! Now if you’ve ever ridden a bike through a construction zone, not a whole lot of room for you and the metal monsters, but they had it set up so a car could reasonably pass you, at least I though so. Friends, how wrong I was.

Never underestimate the impatience and lack of knowledge of bike laws of those in the metal monsters.  I was just about to the end of construction, educated guess would be, 1000ft. Roughly. I heard a horn, but it didn’t sound close. I paid it no mind. Couldn’t be me, they have enough room to pass.  Wrong again. Then came another, longer honk, and it seemed much closer. This time I turned to look, and motion with my hand towards the space to my left, like “what?”, though I said nothing.  I heard a voice yelling, I looked around and the truck was turning into an auto parts place. The woman driving said something to the effect of ” blah blah f*cking asshole blah blah” It was hard to hear. I ignored her, not worth it, all good. Again…wrong! The universe in it’s usual way, having no regard for what you happen to be going though, gives me a red light in a long line of traffic, putting my ass about one car length from screaming-angry woman. Great! Oh how the joy begins to overflow.  I see she is not alone, and it’s her boyfriend/husband/brother/friend, not sure which. Light is stuck in eternal red mode. He hops out of the truck, as it’s moving, yelling at me. He’s a stocky guy, shaved head, and blue jeans with an over-sized white t-shirt. WTF I think to myself. He’s saying something to the effect of, “blah blah f*ck you, you got a  f*cking problem blah you f*cking faggot blah blah” Now I made the mistake of asking what I did. I wasn’t a dick it, was a calmly asked question. He answers my query with, “F*ck you, get on the f*cking sidewalk” At this point I turned, light is still red. Loving this! I am a tiny bit concerned for my well being. He continues, feel the love, “That’s right blah blah don’t you look back at me blah blah I’ll beat your ass so bad blah you’ll need so much help blah blah” He rants and rants. I figured, I just might be in harms way, light is still red. I pedaled to the center of the road to move through traffic and put some distance and witnesses, construction workers, between me and irrationally-angry-bald-guy. Light turns green. Finally! I thought to myself, ” Damn, he probably could have stomped my ass.” I’m not easily scared, but I know when I just might be out gunned, so to speak.  I also thought, “Add pepper spray to shopping list.”

The rest of the ride was golden from there on out. There were two big climbs though. The first was a huge loop from Mckinley Ave to Grandview Ave which rises to go over I670. It was moderate, but long. The next was the hill into Grandview, it’s steep. I knew when I hit the bottom, I would end up walking my sorry ass up at least the last half. Well, I made it half way and my legs, filed a formal protest and then went on strike. Off the bike and walking I went.  I hopped on at the top and cruised through Grandview, which is a beautiful area, doubly so by bike.

I made it to my lunch date at Qdoba just as my girlfriend arrived, sweet. Lunch was yummy. I had the vegetarian Mexican Gumbo, and oodles of water.  I rambled about my ride there, she was so patient. We hung out a bit, and then she had to get back to work. I headed over to get some of the best coffee in the greater Columbus area at Stauf’s.  I enjoyed an iced Americano and wrote down some notes for this blog post, analog style with pen and paper.

The ride home was uneventful, the wind was, mostly, at my back and traffic was pretty chill. I almost tried to figure out another route to avoid the construction, but nothing was direct and quick, so through the barrels and metal monsters I rode. When all is said and done I did about 15+ miles, not bad. I am beat though, and my legs are still not happy with me. We’ll make up at some point.

Thanks for stopping by, Patrick


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