Quick Turned Slow: Anger Management

Yesterday, my day slowly slid down hill. My head began to cloud over and it looked like the overcast mentality was moving in. It’s been five months since my life first fell apart, divorce is a bitch, no matter how smoothly you think you’re handling it. My mountain bike has been my best friend and therapist, its seen sides of me no one has. It carried me on its back, without question, through some of the toughest times. I had to sell that bike, my love, to survive and pay bills. It’s on its way out to Los Angeles, CA, to a new home. I miss it. I still have days that only a bike can help me through, and I’m without that one, so I turned to my singlespeed commuter. I figured I would ride 15 minutes out, turn around and head back, about a half an hour ride.  I got a water bottle, extra tubes, tire levers, a pump, and my multi tool. I strapped on my helmet, and took off heading west. My rear light was giving me some trouble; I assumed it needed new batteries. I knew a gas station was on my way, I’d get batteries there. Night was moving in fast, I would be riding be back in the dark. I really needed that back light. Picked up some batteries at the gas station, find out the batteries in the light have leaked, “Are you f-ing kidding me?” Nope! I put the new batteries in nothing, barely a flicker. Great, no tail light, country road, night time. Good times. I pull off one of my tiny front lights and put it on the back, at least there’s a light blinking and drawing attention to me.  I pull out my headlamp, drink a bit of Gatorade, and headed back home.  Damn it’s dark out here.  I was hoping that little light on the back would be enough for cars to not hit me and leave me along the road in the ditch like a deer. Oh, what fun! I realized that bit of fear felt pretty good, heightened my senses. I was pretty damn aware of cars coming from behind, and the poor condition of the tiny shoulder. I was about  ¼+ mile from home, when I ran through what I assume was glass, and hit some roadkill, that had long turned to leather. Then, not even 10 seconds later….that sensation, that noise….flat tire. I thought I had originally double flatted, but nope just the rear. It was dark, but at least I had extra tubes. I found a place to change the tire…but…no wrench….no…..wrench. I smiled, actually I laughed at myself. I remembered almost everything….except a wrench. Nice! I picked up my bike threw it over my shoulder and began my walk home. The emotions I had earlier, including anger, just began to dissipate and dissolve. I left them on the side of the road. My bike ride turned into a walk, and I was okay with that.  I finally made it back to the house and I’m tired. Next time, I remember the wrench.

Thanks for reading, Patrick


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